scotchneat.ca

I wrote a while ago about how my television became deaf-mute, or it thinks I’m deaf-mute.  Random closed captioning, teletext narration and so on. Then a few weeks ago, it decided that every channel should be… Space Channel. Pick any number. Guaranteed TNG rerun. But it fixed itself except for the closed captioning stuff so I went on as usual.

Then 2 nights ago, it committed itself. Absolutely, Space Channel only. And the weird part of it is that the last channel I was watching before universal Space Channel was NOT the Space Channel, so this is something that the tv CHOSE FOR ITSELF.

Now, I’m all for the Buffy reruns (6pm ET), and I can even put up with Stargate for brief periods of time. But a girl also needs some house porn from time, or you know, my Time Team.

Now that the thing is sentient, I’m loathe to put it to the curb for being monomaniacal in its viewing choices, but ssshhhh, I’m research LCD flat screens as we speak.

As I mentioned, one of the gifts I got for my BD was a custom-made canvas to go in the “nook” in my living room.

Here’s a long view. I’ll see if I can get a close-up on the morrow.

Doors, portals, scotch and Tom Robbins

About 10 minutes after I started doing the hallway floor, JL, who hasn’t jumped on anything in about 2 years and would qualify for the senior cat sleeping olympics, vaulted a 2-foot barrier to land directly on the wet surface.

Shiny hardwood floors, now featuring paw prints.

I’m about to try to finish the bald spots on my hardwood floor. It’s the one thing I wish I got done before I moved in, but the timing didn’t work out so well and here I am 2 years later with spots that have no finish at all.

The grossest part was when I washed it. I’m not a dirty house keeper, but my gods, that’s some dirt that came up. I’m hoping a lot of it was sawdust.

If this works, I’ll continue to do sections, since I’ve got nowhere to put all of the furniture and do it all in one go.

One of these days, I’ll live in a house where all of the reno jobs are done, and it will be peaceful. And then I’ll probably get bored and try to break into the neighbour’s and redo their house (I can see through the window that it hasn’t been properly updated since some time in the 70’s.

I was out watering my sod last night, and there were three tween girls shrieking and giggling in a circle on the grassy boulevard in front of my neighbour’s house.

Turns out they had just witnessed a chipumkicide in the street. Not wanting to leave the “body” on the road, they used some paper to fling onto my neighbour’s boulevard, and now were suffering pangs of guilt for leaving it there, so they wanted it back on the street, but at the curb.

Having survived the bravery of the first move, they were having serious second thoughts about a second one – “I might get the rabies”, “You just touched it, so you can touch it again!” Shriek! Squee!

When I turned around and shut my eyes, it was almost like I was at a Jonas brothers concert.

It was time for another Dad visit, and the theme this time was “the great outdoors”! Well, at least the big gaping hole in my front yard.

When I had the driveway redone, I had them remove a “sidewalk” between my front walk and the driveway that, for some reason, had been done in asphalt instead of pavers or something. Also, it ran right against the flower bed at a weird angle that went toward the garage instead of out to the driveway where it’s most likely that a visitor would park.

Anyway, since the removal, I’ve had a gaping hole there (about a foot deep) and it was just lucky that Melle or the Sheriff didn’t fall into it during our Scotch & Cigars soiree the other night.  Speaking of which, we had a smashing time with some Montecristos, some Highland Park and some Macallan. Topics ranged from the profane (work) to the sacred (junk food) and off into the wilderness (grilled cheese). Next time there will be Doritos!

Back to the hole. The plan was decided that we would remove the “sod” from a strip closer to the street and on a straight line between the driveway and the front walk, and then put that sod in the hole with some filler to make the green space up to the flower beds. You can tell that my lawn has been around for 60 years or so–the root system is about 6 inches deep.

It was a workout just to get the pieces out, never mind the 4 wheelbarrows of fill we had to shovel and tote to fill in the hole. Then, of course, also the pavers were a bit of a workout (about 80 lbs each).

However, the results are smashing. I have sidewalk, some grass (which I have to water every day for a while), plus no hole.

Job # 48 done.

Sometimes, when work is getting you down, and you don’t want to be on a concall for ONE MORE MINUTE, it’s good to take a sanity day. And then attack your closets.

Goodbye cougar skirts, goodbye celeron green sandals, goodbye little tan dress that saw me through more than one evening, goodbye that shirt that looks like something grandma would wear on a fancy day at the “home”, goodbye pants too big and pants too small.

Now that’s immediate gratification.

Since last weekend wasn’t cooperating weather-wise, this weekend was the designated garden enhancement weekend. I was at the nursery when it opened yesterday morning promptly at 9am and picked up some more of the plants I put in the front beds last year, as well as some new varieties (some gorgeous chartreusey-lime sedum and a new echinacea varietal). I also splurged on a big pot that was already planted for the backyard, as well as some annuals to fill in the spaces and fix up the hanging basket that Sue gave me last year.

Spent the morning getting all of the plants in and since I was on a roll, then I cut the grass and pulled a couple hundred dandelions. I don’t know if was the perfect confluence of factors for dandelion growth, or that we’re paying the cost for banned herbicides, but the dandelions are out of control this year. Everywhere. Driving around town you can see numerous yards that are overrun with them. We’re not talking 30% coverage here, more like 80 or 90%, and I don’t think that many people are trying for the derelict look all at once. I think they (the dandelions, not the people) like a wet Spring. I think also that they suck.

In my case, I also lay full blame on the French Immersion school whose field is adjacent to my backyard. A field which is currently white with dandelion fluff. Excellent for my allergies.

Sure, I could be investigating the benefits of dandelion fritters (wtf?) but mostly I just curse while I’m pulling them out and then spend an hour on the couch recovering from sneezing/back aches.

Today, I went to pick up the “over the toilet” cupboard to finish off the bathroom. The box for which was just a few inches too long to fit across the back seats of the Subaru, and the width of which was just an inch to much to fit through the small pass-through in the trunk. I love my Subaru, but if I could redesign one thing about it, it would be to have at least one of the back seats fold all the way down for access from the trunk.

There was no way I was leaving it in the parking lot, so I figured out that I could recline the passenger seat all the way down and then fit the cupboard in like a supine sidekick for the drive home. Excellent until I started the car, because my car is a bit of a hardass when it comes to seat belt safety. It knows when someone is in a seat and doesn’t have on their seatbelt, and then reminds everyone in the car of this major transgression every 30 seconds with a series of seriously annoying pings. But, in one of those special radio moments, I soon found the answer…

Car: Ping-ping-ping

Me: It’s not a person, it’s a cupboard.

Car: Ping-ping-ping

Me: What part of “cupboard” don’t you understand?

Car: Ping-ping-ping

Me: FU, you autocratic tattle-tale!

Car radio: White lines…. (vision dreams of passion) / blowing through my mind… (and all the while, I think of you)

Me: Crank it!

Car: pingpingping

Me: Nah nah nah can’t hear you!  ...Something like a phenomenon (baby), tellin’ your body to come along (baby)…

The cupboard and I sang it home in the sunshine – speakers cranked and sunroof open.

I’ve been using a hand push mower for a few years even though my yard is a bit big and rugged for it. So I finally broke down on the weekend and purchased a new power mower–but it’s a rechargeable electric one!

It’s very cute and enviro-friendly and all that. The battery is good for about 250 charges, which should take me through about 10 years or so. It’s also very quiet – just a little vroom vroom and that’s about it. Even comes with mulching or leaf bag capabilities.

This is the neatest my yard has looked in a while. So much fun!

of a squirrel in my backyard, in a patch of sunshine, eating a pine cone like a corn cob, typewriter style.