scotchneat.ca

I happen to know that if you clench your glut just right, there can be minimal damage and a really clear picture…

Confessions of a Photocopier Repairman

Overheard in The Bay. A couple who are in their 60s, in the party-wear section.

Husband: “Look at all of these flouncy skirts.”
Wife (picking one up): “It’s great for dancing. It twirls!”
Husband: “It’s very short. You shouldn’t be wearing something like that, Missy.”
Wife: “I was wearing one this past summer! And it was shorter!”
Husband: “Well, THAT was in the summer. You’re older now.”

I want them to adopt me.

The menagerie is out and about.

Chipmunk pawprints on the roof of the shed, where he enters and exits the winter condo. Groundhog pawprints across the back of the yard. Bunny pawprints through the garden and up the side of the house. Dog pawprints across the front yard (I don’t have a dog!)

I’m looking for some big game, but so far the deer, moose and bear are still in hiding. (Maybe they’re in the shed with the chipmunk…)

I know parking lots get messy before Christmas and in the snow in Canada. But some dumbass started an extra line of cars such that what was supposed to be a lane between parking spots narrowed to the width of one car. Having parked early in the day, when the snow still blocked the lines, I ended up about halfway up the “triangle”. No problem, I cozy up to the car beside be to be able to pull out and turn back into the narrowing part of the triangle, so to drive toward the wide end and make my escape.

Only grandma decides to drive up the triangle EVEN THOUGH SHE SEES ME PULLING OUT. As I put it in drive, I realize I’m facing grandma with no way around. And it’s a triangle. A car hardly fits through the other end!!! Grandma watches me. I watch grandma. Then I get fed up. Speed backwards through the top of the triangle with inches to spare and into the laneway across the top.

Grandma smiles and takes me parking spot. Happy freakin’ Christmas.

I am proud to know people in my life who are have made choices for happiness.

gave up a company, being the boss, having money to work with your hands and put in a truly honest day’s work.

gave up the big house in the big subdivision and two paycheques for an apartment and one paycheque in the city you both love.

gave up a job that was exhausting you on a daily basis, feeling that it’s better to live on little than to sacrifice yourself for that cheque you get every two weeks.

Maybe “gave up” is completely the wrong choice of words.

Secret confessions time. I LOVE Kim and Aggie. The Brit and the Scot who determine “How Clean Is Your House?”

The houses they visit! Modern homes in first-world countries; people willing to show their filth to the world. But the girls are fabulous. With feather-lined rubber gloves, they are willing to stick their noses to the grottiest of toilets and the spongiest of carpets. “You’re a mucky, dirty beggar!”, they cry.

I’m revolted so much that my spine tingles to look at the hair, the cat feces (what’s WITH that?), the dust, the slime mold, the dishes left in the kitchen sink for years…

They cajole, they sass, they use lots of vinegar, and they get the job done – without ever a hair out of place. I’d be there to have a glass at the pub with these two!

My Dad and I have a bad habit of “investigating” something on Sunday morning, just before he’s about to leave, and after a full day of renos of some kind or another.

Today, it was a pipe below my bathtub that was dripping a *teeny* bit every once in a while.

S: “We probably shouldn’t touch it right now, but this pipe is dripping every once in a while – that’s what the bucket is for.”

D: “Well, let me just take a look at it. Yeah. Probably just needs to be tightened.” [tightens] “Okay, go run some water in the bathtub.”

S runs water. “Okay?”

D: [laughter] “Um, it’s worse.” D opens pipe at trap, cleans out both surfaces and tightens again. Water starts streaming out. [laughter]

S: “I’ll use a bucket. Don’t move anything else, and we’ll fix it in a few weeks. Seriously.” “Remember the running toilet???” [Note: About 3 hours work to get that fixed.]

D: “No. I can’t leave it.” “I’m going to Home Hardware.”

[many pieces of plumbing stuff are purchased]

Dad proceeds to hack out entire trap and replace about a third of the pipe, and then uses plumber’s cement to permanently encase all elbows and joints.

Only one hour this time – it’s a miracle!

(thanks, Melle!)

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/

Geeks rock.

I’m currently interviewing people for a new position on my team.

Two of my good friends (one very close), considered applying for the job, and both decided not to. Both saw my job offering as “second” to another they received. Both said they’d love to work WITH me but not FOR me.

Humbling, indeed. And the question remains: is it great that they considered it, or damning that they rejected it?

Either way, it’s still good to HAVE them :)

A safety deposit box (SDB) is a good idea. You can keep things in it for safekeeping, such as a passport. The key to a getting at your stuff in the SDB is, well, the key.

So, after you turn your house upside-down trying to find the key because you need your passport to go to a *stupid* user conference in Florida, you are left with getting the locksmith in to drill out your SDB.

Two minutes and $100 later, the passport was in my clenched fist, along with a new set of keys…