That’s how you do it

Went to a cousin’s wedding this weekend in the true north. When you’ve got “dozens of cousins”, as the bride likes to say, never mind dozens of aunts and uncles, there’s only one way to do it:

  • Dress-up optional at the ceremony and dress-down mandatory at the reception.
  • Have the “I Do” part take 10 minutes and the eat and celebrate part take 12 hours.
  • BYOB and pot luck. There was enough food to feed dozens for days, and no one could complain that there weren’t enough options. At what other wedding could one get swedish meatballs, butterscotch squares, homemade chili and watermelon?
  • Have the great aunt do shots from a used bagpipe bladder then set her loose on the dance floor.
  • Play Johnny Cash, immediately followed by Biggie.
  • Bring the wedding party to the reception area via a pontoon boat on the river. Make them scurry to the back of the boat so as not to ground it on the shore.
  • Have the wedding part do boat races for halftime entertainment (the drinking kind, not the boating kind).
  • Have people bring tents that are pitched about 40 feet from the party tent. Easy lurching distance.
  • Have no bears attend the reception, or the pot luck table.