There is no moment of zen, so don’t suggest it

I have a modest-sized sign on my mailbox that says No flyers, please. I don’t like pulling out a wad of advertisements that I’ll never read printed on a waste of paper and putting them in the recycle bin. I hate flyers.

So, there’s a new kid on the flyer route or something, because I am coming home to a mailbox of flyers 2 or 3 times a week now. I see them sticking out, and I feel an utter and immediate sense of rage – I said please, for flippin’ sakes, and you can’t seem to figure out that that means DO NOT put the FRACKIN’ FLYERS in MY MAILBOX!!!

So, here are my options:

- come home early and hide behind my front door until the unsuspecting culprit arrives and tries to put the offensive wad of paper in my mailbox, then box him or her about the ears yelling NO FLYERS! THE SIGN SAYS NO FLYERS!

- find some time to figure out who the company is that pays the offender to put the offensive wad of paper in my mailbox and then call them up and harangue them so that they flag my address with a suitable label such as “Crazy Old Woman with Cat and Hatred of Flyers – Do Not Approach”.

- change my mailbox to something that’s just a container with a slot small enough to repel offensive wads of paper but big enough to accept envelopes and my subscription to Buffy comics.

What do you think?

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2 Responses to “There is no moment of zen, so don’t suggest it”

  1. Kemmerson says:

    Perhaps he can’t actually READ the sign. Maybe you need to put up a sign with graphical images to show “no flyers please” and then a second sign that shows the consequences of putting flyers in your m ailbox. (i.e. one big ass kicking)

  2. scotchneat says:

    Isn’t that ironic?